If words come out from the heart
They will enter the heart
But if they come from the tongue
They will not pass beyond the ears

I have always wondered why donuts are so popular. After seeing the cute round donut with shaved strawberry fillings on top.. It took a certain amount of will to resist the temptation.

Selena Quintanilla

I Could Fall In Love with Dreaming of You. Great songs. Dreaming of You is still the best! I immediately fell in love with it. I discovered this treasure thanks to crystalxue.blogspot.com. Lol.

Rejoice! I have found the dream instant noodles. No MSG, no disodium inosinate, disodium ribonucleotide, disodium guanylate or any such nonsense. It is still not that healthy, but it is the best I could find. For that price. Behold! Samyung Udong Noodles. By adding vegetables, eggs, etc, it makes for a meal cheaper and better than fast food. Yay. Ureshii!


Phew. I got home before heavy rain came. Lucky me. Bar the thunder, it would be good weather for sleeping. My hair's wet though. I was thinking of not washing it, but it is super oily.

Today I spent $50. Extravagance. I spent $27.80, actually $32.50 because of ++ on Japanese buffet. Kushin-Bo Restaurant, located on Suntec City level 3, near Toys R Us. Dom recommended that we eat there. I especially liked the vanilla ice cream. At first, I didn't notice matcha ice cream was beside it. The second time I saw. I was so happy. Ureshii! I tasted it. It was sweet. Yucks. Lol. I prefer my matcha ice cream not so sweet. But hell. It was nice though, just because it's matcha! I had chasoba for the first time. The prawn soup, served in a teapot, drank like traditional Japanese sake, was cool. The taste was neither bland nor overbearing. Just nice. I guess all soups that have prawns inside will taste nice. Well, I enjoyed my meal there. Nice ambience. I just hoped that they removed the curtains and widen the walkways. There's just too many patrons! We had to queue even before opening hours. Other than that, I would recommend an occasional meal there. Actually, once for me is enough, because I don't care for such extravagance. Lol.

Anyway, congratulations to Domimi for escaping the hell that is army. I hope one year will pass by in one day. Then at that time I will miss army. In the army, about everything is provided for you. It's so tempting to sign on. Lol. I shifted beds. Now I am sleeping on the bottom. I am sleeping right beside the door as well. I will miss sleeping on the top, at the corner. I wonder how it will be like. Next week is totally a one day working week. Wednesday, there's some Timor whatever run. We will have the day off after the run. Thursday is a public holiday. Suay suay I cannot take off on Friday because of my gate duty. IF NOT, ONE WEEK NO WORK WEEK! Lol. But after this week. It is going to be quite tough. Super burning of weekends. BOOM.

Well, I am gonna have to start doing household chores tomorrow. Actually, why it is even called chores. I enjoy doing them. I am a neat and clean freak! Thanks to my perfectionist streak as usual. LOL.

I finished reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. It is one of the best books I have ever read. It is about the loss of man's spirit. It is written on a grand scale. It contains many great ideas, relevant to her philosophy. At the same time, it is a thriller with a lot of twists and turns. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I realised that, I tend to take things to the extreme. It's all thanks to the perfectionist streak, which I have tried to curb for many years now. I love to test limits, sometimes exceeding them. Some people cannot take it, and I feel sorry for them. That they have to deal with a person such as me. If I do things, I will do my best, no matter how small it is. Correction. I used to be like that. Now, I accept the fact that I cannot be perfect. I used to expect people to be their best, but not anymore. I do feel the disappointment though, that no one can be perfect. I especially hate it when people don't try to be their best, even though it's none of my business.

I always hope that unassertive people can be more assertive, that passive-aggressive people can be normal. I tire of dealing with people who pretend that everything is alright, but obviously show signs of distress. It is a underhanded way, because it is a way of hurting people, without it seeming to be so. Victimisation; to be the victim, so as to "protect" oneself. "The victim is always right". Sometimes, they may really be the victim and they get too engrossed in their role as one. They plan to be the victim forever. They won't be frank about their feelings and they won't give the pleasure of forgiving others, and themselves. It is absolutely their right to not forgive others, but I think they should forgive themselves. To stop lying to themselves.

So far, I have encountered quite a few of these kind of people. I am jaded. These are the people who tend to blame others, who cannot accept their own misdeeds. They do not yet have the capacity to be frank about themselves and other people. Their "hidden" resentment bites from the back and shows up in unexpected places. They think, that it is bad to be wrong and they make up excuses just to please themselves. Absolutely lame excuses. They tend to be late, because.. they do not really want to be there? Or at least a part of themselves. This I do not really know. They are never honest about their feelings and fear intimacy. This is 100x times worse then someone who openly tells you that they hate you! Pretense of compliance is worse then non-compliance. They resist suggestions, whether they be helpful or negative. Some of them are being nice, in order to make people like them. Then they expect people to be nice to them. They think they have nothing else to give! They avoid responsiblity by giving excuses that "I'm lousy, that's why I can't do it, and if you ask me to do it, don't blame me if things go wrong!" They are intentionally inefficient, not because they don't want to be their best, not because they don't want the limelight, but just because they don't want to deal with responsibility! They will never decide for themselves, because they want to avoid responsibility. They will make you decide, so that it won't be their fault when things go wrong.

Of course, they have the right to be themselves. Let them be. I will make my stand. I do not like their passive-aggressive behaviours! I can understand how it comes about (overbearing parents, alcoholic parents) but I do not think it is an excuse to remain that way! I think it is very manipulative behaviour. I do not think it is healthy. I do not approve of their fear of intimacy, because it means they are unable to receive fulfillment from intimate relationships, which I think is very important! I pity their dishonesty, their not-so-white lies. I think they need help! I have decided. I won't let them into my life any longer, until they change. If they never change, or if they think they don't need to change, so be it. I have spoken.

sola is a short series consisting of 13 episodes, just like Soukou no Strain and Elfen Lied. Boy, is it like Elfen Lied. Are they from the same studio? No. Same director? No. Same author? No. Then why are they so similar?! Both series have supernatural stuff and the main protagonists of both have some shocking secret of their past. There are other aspects of which.. I'll leave it to you to find out for yourself.

Anyway, this series' plot is neither good or bad. It is not deep but it is not shallow either. Something like slices of life. It is entertaining to watch. Mainly, it talks about sola (sora) .. the sky. You'll see some form of reference to the sky in every episode. The main guy is a guy who loves to takes photos of the sky. His bedroom's ceiling is the sky. Like wow. You can also learn formal Japanese from a little girl named Koyori. She is really very polite.

I like the soundtrack though. It fits the mood.

I noticed that characters were not drawn very consistently. They look, a bit different at different times. Well, at least they don't wear the same clothes everyday. It doesn't detract from the experience though. Perhaps it adds another dimension.

Ototo - Younger brother

Imouto - Younger sister

Tomodachi - Friends

Nakama - More than friends, close as family

Wasurenai - Can't forget

Yasashi - Tender

Hageshi - Passion

Dare - Who

Wakarimasen - I don't understand

Sora - Sky

Mizu- Water

Koe - Voice

Kotae - Answer

Akuma - Demon

Tenshi - Angel

Inu - Dog

Neko - Cat

Machinasai - Wait

Yume - Moon

Koibito - Lover

Sekai - World

Mite - Look

Momo - Peach

Yamete - Stop

Iku - Go

Hayaku - Hurry

Dakara - That's why

Namida - Tears

Mamoru - Protect

Low self-esteem (LSE) is poison that feeds on itself. It does not contribute, it leeches. LSE people are negative. They depend on others for assurance and happiness. Some become overbearing in the illusion that they will be a "higher" person". Some stoop so low, they deliberately doubt their ability to do things so that when things go wrong, they are not to be blamed. They want reassurance that they can do things, but reject it. They are not capable of admitting they are wrong, because they take it personally, as an attack on their character. They avoid arguments, because they are scared of being wrong. They do not reveal their true selves, because, it is impossible to hit an invisible target. They get defensive when they are attacked, even when the attack is misguided. They put on a happy face in public to hide their sorrow. When people see through it, they act surprised and reject their sorrow, as a way to seek attention. "I am trying to be happy, it's your fault that you noticed my sorrow. Don't ask anymore, it's not important. I'm scared that you won't accept my sorrow. So I'm being happy to protect myself. Acting happy so that others will be happy although it is so easy to see through it is not just an excuse, I'm being noble." "I don't know anything, so you'll have to decide. I'm scared that my decision will be wrong, so I don't contribute. I don't even want to be aware of anything. I'll just pretend I don't know. I don't want to learn, just because I'm scared of failure." "I trust you because I don't trust myself."

Why should I be responsible for LSE people?

Malgopi - Bi Haeng So Nyeo

The little girl is so cute!

Malgopi - Bi Haeng So Nyeo (Translation)

Airplane has taken off and I'm flying in the darkness now
A night view of Seoul spreads like dye in water
Maybe someone who I have known waving to me in there somewhere
I say a final farewell

I'm Flying in the darkness
Good bye ~ Good bye my memory ~ I mutter to oneself
I love you, just one word
Good bye ~ Goodbye my memory ~ I shed tears
forever ~ , I love you ~

Good bye ~

Maybe someone who I have known waving to me in there somewhere
I say a final farewell
Good bye ~ Good bye my memory ~ I mutter to oneself
I love you, just one word
Good bye ~ Goodbye my memory ~ I shed tears
forever ~ , I love you ~
Good bye ~ Good bye my memory ~ I mutter to oneself
I love you , just one word ]
Good bye ~ Goodbye my memory ~ I shed tears
forever ~ , I love you ~
Good bye ~

Phew. I had chalet last week, for almost the whole week. Relax man. One whole week of not wearing army uniform. Just when I was looking forward to going out on Friday noon, Boss had to do some training. Whoa. Intense man. Even skipped lunch break. I had duty late on Thursday night. So I sleep for only 6 hours. I am a person who needs a lot of sleep, at least for now. I got zonked out, and screwed up my training. Boss came hard on me. I lost all morale for that day. In the end, we all had off around 2.30. Book out together. I guess it's not a bad thing. I just feel it's unfair. But it can't be helped. Sho ga nai.

Next week = holiday week. Hopefully, if nothing crops up. I will get Mon and Tues off, and Fri as well. Two-day work week! How's that. Then I have leave next next mon and next next next mon as well. And long leave through my birthday. If nothing crops up. Lol. So relax relax. Until a major operation comes up at Mid November. 3 hours of sleep man. It's gonna be exciting.

Just finished two series. Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann and Darker than Black. TTGL started out lame, albeit hilarious and light-hearted. The second part was wonderful, though. It got much deeper than I expected. As for Darker than Black, it had superb potential during the first few episodes. The story was mysterious and engaging. However, it slowly became a whole bunch of short stories. And the ending totally sucks. Unless there's a second season. Many things were left unexplained.

Getting sola soon.

Btw, Lord of the Rings really rocks.

"A Photogenic Life" is by Low Kay Hwa. www.goodybooks.com. Recommended reading. "Journey" is nice too.

from: http://flatrock.org.nz/topics/relationships/reunions_set_off_sex_urges.htm

Genetic Sexual Attractions?

Reunions Set Off Sex Urges

The intimation of incest emerges from the imperceptible to the barely perceptible to the blindingly perceived.

- Alison Adburgham

by Anamika Vasil

Reunions between birth relatives separated by adoption can spark off intense sexual feelings, according to a visiting psychiatrist. Maurice Greenburg, a consultant to London's Post-Adoption Centre, was speaking at the Adopting New Ways conference about genetic sexual attraction, a phenomenon he has studied. During the study he analysed 40 case histories and interviewed 10 people who said they had experienced this attraction. The reunions included those between parents and children and between siblings. The people concerned were both heterosexuals and homosexuals.

Four of the six he interviewed said they had engaged in a sexual relationship with their birth relative while others described experiences ranging from intense erotic feelings toward their relatives to sexual behaviour such as fondling and touching. When meeting their lost relative for the first time the respondents all experienced "an overwhelming and complicated rush of emotions" and an "almost irresistible sense of falling in love." They all said they had a need to discover an unusual form of closeness and intimacy with their relative, who had felt the same way.

Dr Greenberg said the respondents had discovered themselves in their relative as a form of mirroring. "It seemed almost inevitable that they would express this through sexual intimacy, and when this resulted in sexual intercourse the sexual urge was described as irresistible." He said the prevalence of genetic sexual attraction was unclear, though staff at the Post Adoption Centre had estimated it affected up to half the centre's clients.

Factors that could contribute to these sexual feelings included the mutual attractiveness of physical similarity and the fact that when they were last together, when the adopted child was six months old and under, their physical relationship could have included fondling and close skin contact. Dr Greenberg said in these cases the absence of early bonding diminished the incest taboo and encouraged genetic sexual attraction.

Source: The Dominion 25 June (I don't have a year - I would guess 1997 or 1998)

The Encyclopedia of World Problems and Human Potential defines genetic sexual attraction (GSA) as:

Experienced between mothers and sons, fathers and daughters, and between more distant relatives, but most common between siblings of opposite sex who bear a close resemblance. It takes the form of an overpowering, almost electrical grip of emotion, associated with an inability to keep away from the other person and an almost primordial sense of having belonged together all their lives. The attraction gives rise to a sense of underlying shame and guilt, together with a feeling of rejection that may prevent effective communication because the emotions are too threatening to share with anyone. This may be compounded by any sexual relationship resulting from the attraction.

Particularly noted in the case of adopted children who are subsequently reunited with the biological parent or sibling of the opposite sex, seemingly because the normal bonding mechanism has been disrupted.

Genetic attraction is a frequently noted response to reunion. Feelings include the need to touch, to spend time together, talk and share. Suggested reasons for the attraction include:
bullet Similar Characteristics - Similar genetic makeup can produce similarities in temperament, appearance, and other areas that are common in all birth families to a certain extent.
bullet Self-Love - While we may not want to admit it, we generally tend to feel more comfortable with those whose characteristics are similar to our own.
bullet Aromatic Identification - It has been suggested that a subconscious memory of the smell of one's own family may be recognised and, if so, would cause an actual physical reaction.

When the desire to consummate the relationship enters the equation, genetic attraction becomes genetic sexual attraction.
Fear of Discovery/ Fear of Separation

Acknowledging the existence of such feelings raises the spectre of incest, and when these feelings become so intense that they threaten to cross the line over into the realm of physical and deep emotional involvement, many break off the relationship completely, or limit its scope rather than try to talk about it. Others can be so overcome by fear of another separation that they too keep silent but, instead of pulling away, may view a sexual relationship as the only way to keep the connection alive.
Confront It

As with any issue, this needs to be met head-on despite its sensitive nature. It is a natural human desire to be with our own, and it's not at all unusual to react with excessive emotion when experiencing reunion. If you find yourself "falling in love" or sexually attracted to a new-found birth family member, here's what the experts advise:
bullet Strong feelings of attraction are not abnormal.
bullet There's nothing wrong with you.
bullet Recognise the initial excitement for what it is: the first rush and thrill of reunion, and the birth of love for family.
bullet Remember that relationships take time to develop, and that goes for long-separated birth family members as well. Time will serve to settle the relationship in its proper context.
bullet Talk to others who have experienced reunion.
bullet Find a support group whose leader is comfortable talking about the subject.
bullet Seek counseling from an experienced adoption therapist.

Source: adoption.about.com

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Requests
Date: Sat, 28 Apr 2007 12:10:42 -0500
From: crystal_king34@hotmail.com
To: ruth@flatrock.org.nz

This message was posted via the Feedback form.

Phone: 416-901-8879 cell 647-400-8879

Comments: I too have experienced GSA to the extreme. My Brother and I had an intense loving relationship after being reunited, and after a few more separations conceived a child. We are not together now and I have custody of our beautiful normal son. I wish there was a way that we could at least talk to each other again. If not for each other than for our son. We even dreamed of writing a book together about our GSA experience, and our forbidden love.

Hope others would like to talk with me.

Crystal King


It takes courage to speak up. I wish you well. Anyone reading this who would like to start a group, consider getting in touch with Crystal. It helps to talk things over.

Good luck.

This message was posted via the Feedback form.


Your article regarding adopted siblings uniting was an answer to prayer. My brother and I were united this past September after being separated at his birth; he is 68 and I, 70.

When we met we experienced all that your article stated: "...an overwhelming and complicated rush of emotions ... an almost irresistible sense of falling in love." Yes, we fell in love, and our love has grown beyond any other love either of us has ever known. (I have known love and been loved, and been widowed twice. He has been a devoted husband for 45 years, to a woman who's just revealed to him that her first true love and desires have always been centered on a career she feels denied of, intimating that a loving and nurturing husband and children were not enough.)

My brother and I know there will be many who will not understand our sibling love, so rare, so beautiful. Even we are stunned. Yet we believe it was God intervening in our lives. So all we can do is pray that someday family and friends will understand that, when we met, we were strangers, that our love today is pure and not sinful in God's sight.

Our intentions are to live out our lives happy and fullfilled, to love one another through all time — together at last — and to give God the Glory.

Please, if you have any further studies or research on the aftermath of adopted siblings loving and living together, we would be grateful for the information.

Thank you for your time, and for the wonderful research you do at Flat Rock Forests.


-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Help
Date: 30 Jun 2005 09:17:40 -0000
To: ruth@flatrock.org.nz

This message was posted via the Feedback form.
Name: Liz

Comments: I am in love with my brother and he with me - reunited after 45 years. Both our families aware of situation. I am just being told over and over that the relationship is doomed to failure. How can I believe that? We just want to be together.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Help
Date: 3 Mar 2006 12:04:52 -0000
To: ruth@flatrock.org.nz

This message was posted via the Feedback form.
Name: staceyann

Comments: i need some help with the gsa, i think i need counciling but i am unsure of where to go and who to see. if you could point me in the right direction i would be very grateful. i met my brother last year and we ended up conducting a sexual relationship but it was one sided. i was not comfortable and feel he has done this before with our half sister who he no longer sees and who i have never met. i don\'t know this for sure but when i talk of meeting our birth mother and half sister he does all he can to put me off. i can't go to my doctor for help as what we have done is illegal. this really is getting me extremely down as i feel very ashamed even after reading that it is "normal". i really don't know where to turn to. if you could help please please help!

Husband and Wife Discover They Are Siblings

Phnom Penh - A Cambodian man's joy turned to dismay after he discovered that his long-lost mother, who had survived the bloody Khmer Rouge regime, is also the mother of his wife. Tep Song, 35, and his wife Tep Ly, 38, had been removed from their village in the southern province of Svay Rieng and separated by Khmer Rouge troops in 1975 when they were 5 and 8, respectively. The pair told aid workers they met again when Song was 17 and extremely ill in hospital in neighbouring Takeo province and Ly was assigned as his nurse. They fell in love and married soon afterwards, unaware that they had any more in common than having been born in the same province.

The couple had believed that the rest of their families had been wiped out. But Song, an itinerant worker, saved everything they had to make a trip to his home village to search for any surviving family - where he discovered his mother, Thit Sohn, 77. "At first, of course, they were overjoyed, but then the son and mother began naming other relatives who had been murdered," Prom Bopha of the Collect Safe of People (CSP) aid agency told Deutsche Presse-Agentur dpa by telephone. "Ly was surprised, and told them these were also her relatives' names, and then they discovered they shared the same childhood memories, and before long they realised that they had the same father and mother," said Prom Bopha, whose group is caring for the family. It should have been a time of great joy, but now the mother cries all day and all night," Prom Bopha said. "They are surprised and very upset and all three are now very ill."

The couple has 4 children, aged between 14 years and 14 months.

The ultra-Maoist Khmer Rouge ruled Cambodia between 1975 to 1979. Up to two million Cambodians died during the regime's drive to turn the nation into an agrarian utopia, free of class systems, markets and money. The regime emptied the cities and often removed children from parents to more easily indoctrinate them. Thousands of Cambodians are still searching for family members. - Sapa-dpa

Source: www.news24.com 6 August 2005

Couple Stand by Forbidden Love

Patrick Stuebing and Susan Karolewski
Patrick and Susan did not know each other as children

by Tristana Moore

At their home in Leipzig, Patrick Stuebing and Susan Karolewski are in the kitchen, playing with a young toddler. They share a small flat in an east German tower block on the outskirts of the city. It looks like an ordinary family scene, but Patrick is Susan's brother and they are lovers.

"Many people see it as a crime, but we've done nothing wrong," said Patrick, an unemployed locksmith. "We are like normal lovers. We want to have a family. Our whole family broke apart when we were younger, and after that happened, Susan and I were brought closer together," he said. Patrick, who is 30 years old, was adopted and, as a child, he lived in Potsdam. He did not meet his mother and biological family until he was 23. He travelled to Leipzig with a friend in 2000, determined to make contact with his other relatives. He met his sister Susan for the first time, and according to the couple, after their mother died, they fell in love.

"When I was younger, I didn't know that I had a brother. I met Patrick and I was so surprised," said Susan, who is 22. She says she does not feel guilty about their relationship. "I hope this law will be overturned," Susan said. "I just want to live with my family, and be left alone by the authorities and by the courts," she went on, in a hardly audible voice.
Jail sentence

Patrick and Susan have been living together for the last 6 years, and they now have 4 children. The authorities placed their first son, Eric, in the care of a foster family, and two other children were also placed in care. "Our children are with foster parents. We talk to them as often as possible, but the authorities have taken away so much from us," said Susan. "We only have our little daughter, Sofia, who is living with us," she said.

Incest is a criminal offence in Germany. Patrick Stuebing has already served a 2-year sentence for committing incest and there is another jail term looming if paragraph 173 of the legal code is not overturned. The couple's lawyer, Endrik Wilhelm, has lodged an appeal with Germany's highest judicial body, the federal Constitutional Court in Karlsruhe, in order to overturn the country's ban on incest. "Under Germany's criminal code, which dates back to 1871, it is a crime for close relatives to have sex and it's punishable by up to 3 years in prison. This law is out of date and it breaches the couple's civil rights," Dr Wilhelm said. "Why are disabled parents allowed to have children, or people with hereditary diseases or women over 40? No-one says that is a crime. This couple are not harming anyone. It is discrimination. And besides, we must not forget that every child is so valuable."

The couple's case is controversial and it has prompted a heated debate in the media. "We need this law against incest in Germany and in the whole of Europe," said Professor Juergen Kunze, a geneticist at Berlin's Charite Hospital. "It is based on long traditions in Western societies, and the law is here for a good reason," said Prof Kunze. "Medical research has shown that there is a higher risk of genetic abnormalities when close relatives have a child together. When siblings have children, there is a 50% chance that the child will be disabled," he said.

Patrick and Susan say they have no other choice but to fight the current law. "I have read that some doctors claim that children born to siblings could be disabled, but what about disabled parents who have children, or older parents?" asked Patrick. "People have said that our children are disabled, but that is wrong. They are not disabled," said Patrick. "Eric, our eldest child, has epilepsy, but he was born 2 months premature, he also has learning difficulties. Our other daughter, Sarah, has special needs."
Ruling soon

The couple claim they have received a lot of support from friends and neighbours. "When we go out to the supermarket, people recognise us and many have told us that they support our legal challenge," said Patrick. "We would like society to recognise us, as any other normal couple," he said.

In 2004, Patrick voluntarily underwent a vasectomy. "It's legal for the couple to live together, and to share a bed. But they are breaking the law once they have sex. If there are no more children, then who will be able to prove that they are a couple?" asked their lawyer. Dr Wilhelm said a ruling was expected in the next few months. "We've already heard that the vice-president of the Constitutional Court said that there will be a 'fundamental discussion' about this issue in Germany," said Dr Wilhelm. "Many criminal law experts say that we are right and I'm confident that my clients will win their case. The law against incest is based on very old moral principles. The law was abolished in France, it's about time it should be scrapped here in Germany as well."

Source: news.bbc.co.uk 7 March 2007

Four children by the age of 22? And she's lived with her brother for 6 years? He seems to be guilty of more than incest. And they both seem to lack self-discipline.

To Urgh is Human

by Paul Bloom

What, precisely, is so bad about sex between adult siblings, bestiality, and the eating of corpses? Most people insist such acts are morally wrong, but when psychologists ask why, the answers make little sense. For instance, people often say incestuous sex is immoral because it runs the risk of begetting a deformed child, but if this was their real reason, they should be happy if the siblings were to use birth control - and most people are not. One finds what the social psychologist Jonathan Haidt called "moral dumbfounding", a gut feeling that something is wrong combined with an inability to explain why.

Haidt suggests we are dumbfounded because, despite what we might say to others and perhaps believe ourselves, our moral responses are not based on reason. They are instead rooted in revulsion: incest, bestiality and cannibalism disgust us, and our disgust gives rise to moral outrage.

Some see disgust as a reliable moral guide. Leon Kass, chairman of the President's commission on bioethics, wrote an article in 1997 called "The Wisdom of Repugnance" where he conceded that this revulsion was "not an argument", but then went on to argue: "In some crucial cases, however, it is the emotional expression of deep wisdom, beyond wisdom's power completely to articulate it." This conclusion has practical implications: Kass argued that the idea of human cloning is disgusting, and he saw this as good reason to ban it. Some from both sides of the political spectrum, would agree.

Disgust has humble origins. At root, it is a biological adaptation, warding us away from ingesting certain substances that could make us sick. This is why fæces, vomit, urine and rotten meat are universally disgusting; they contain harmful toxins. We react strongly to the idea of touching such substances and find the notion of eating them worse. This Darwinian perspective also explains why we see disgusting substances as contaminants - if some food makes even the slightest contact with rotting meat, for instance, it is no longer fit to eat. After all, the microrganisms that can harm us spread by contact, and so you not only should avoid disgusting things, you should avoid anything that the disgusting things make contact with. For these reasons, the psychologist Steven Pinker has described disgust as "intuitive microbiology".

Some of our disgust is hard-wired, then. This does not mean babies experience disgust. They are immobile and it would be a cruel trick of evolution to have them lie in perpetual self-loathing, unable to escape their revolting bodily wastes. But when disgust first emerges in young children, it is a consequence of brain maturation, not early experience or cultural teaching.

Children are prepared to do some learning, because while some things are universally dangerous, others vary according to the environment. This is particularly the case for animal flesh, and so in the first few years of life, children monitor what adults around them eat and establish the boundaries of acceptable (and hence non-disgusting) foods. By the time one is an adult the disgust reactions are fairly locked in, and it is difficult for most adults to try new foods, particularly new meats. (Most readers of this piece, for instance, would be queasy at the idea of eating grubs, cockroaches or dogs.)

If disgust were limited to food, it would have little social relevance. But, as a perverse evolutionary accident, this emotion that evolved for our protection has turned on us - we can be disgusted by ourselves and others.

The history of disgust is an ugly one. The philosopher Martha Nussbaum, who is the main critic of a disgust-based morality, observes that "throughout history, certain disgust properties - sliminess, bad smell, stickiness, decay, foulness - have repeatedly and monotonously been associated with Jews, women, homosexuals, untouchables, lower-class people - all of those are imagined as tainted by the dirt of the body".

The Nazis evoked disgust by depicting Jews as vermin, as unclean and as engaging in filthy acts. Male homosexuals are an easy target here; Nussbaum points out that when she was involved in a trial concerning gay rights in Colorado, opponents of gay rights testified that gay men drank blood and ate fæces.

Disgust is not entirely sordid. It can be used as well to motivate a spiritual existence, by eliciting a negative reaction to our material bodies. St Augustine, for instance, was influenced by Cicero's vivid image of the Etruscan pirate's torture of prisoners by strapping a corpse to them, face to face. This, Augustine maintained, is the fate of the soul, chained to a physical body as one would be chained to a rotting corpse.

You cannot talk someone out of disgust. But it can be defeated by other emotions. After Stephen Fry outlines what he sees as the disgusting nature of sexual intimacy - "I would be greatly in the debt of the man who could tell me what would ever be appealing about those damp, dark, foul-smelling and revoltingly tufted areas of the body that constitute the main dishes in the banquet of love" - he notes that sexual arousal can override our civilised reticence: "Once under the influence of the drugs supplied by one's own body, there is no limit to the indignities, indecencies, and bestialities to which the most usually rational and graceful of us will sink."

Love can have a similar effect - consider a parent changing a child's diaper, or the Catholic depictions of saints cleaning the wounds of lepers.

Disgust can also fade as it begins, through association and imagery, through positive depictions of once-reviled objects. In the 1960s, most Americans and Europeans disapproved of interracial marriage, and revulsion at such couplings played no small role. This has changed considerably, as has the reaction to homosexual relationships. It is not abstract argument driving this change in cultural values; it is Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

The irrationality of disgust suggests it is unreliable as a source of moral insight. There may be good arguments against gay marriage, partial-birth abortions and human cloning, but the fact that some people find such acts to be disgusting should carry no weight.

Does this conclusion go too far? Commenting on the sadistic abuse of Iraqi prisoners, George Bush expressed "deep disgust" and said the images made him sick to his stomach. This common reaction seems to be the right one; disgust is more apt than anger or dismay or even shame. In fact, disgust plays a double role here. Not only are the images of torture disgusting to those who view them - and their sexual nature plays no small role in this regard - but also part of the torture inflicted on the prisoners was their forced participation in acts they found revolting. Wouldn't the staunchest critic of disgust agree that here at least this emotion does tell us something about right and wrong?

Not necessarily. What was wrong about Abu Ghraib had to do with the suffering of the prisoners and the sadism of those who caused this suffering. It would have been just as wrong if there were no visual record. It also would have been worse if the prisoners had been shot dead. But news of simple murder does not usually prompt disgust, and would never have led to the same sort of moral outrage. Even in cases like these, we are better off without the distraction of disgust.

Paul Bloom is professor of psychology at Yale University, author of Descartes' Baby: How Child Development Explains What Makes Us Human

Source: www.guardian.co.uk The Guardian Thursday 22 July 2004

r a n d o m

Haven't met up with Usual people for so long. Looking forward to next Saturday. Jan, it will be quiet without you. Although still got lala and Wansu. =X

Happy birthday in advance to my imouto. Because I probably won't get to book out at all next week.

Don't buy canola oil. It's toxic. It's from rapeseed. Even if the bottle has a Healthier Choice logo on it.

You always have a choice. You choose to be happy. You choose to be miserable. You choose to be out of control. You choose to ignore. You choose to fear.

I'm an atheist.
There is no god.
We are responsible for ourselves. It is unfair to give that responsibility to others.
It is our response to situations that matter.

Everything is nothing.

Nothing is everything.

We are born free.

The story of Scissors curry rice

Tien Seng curry mixed rice stall

As you come out from the Bugis MRT Station into Victoria St. there
are two coffee shops in an HDB block. In the one nearer Ophir Rd.,
is the Tien Seng Mixed Curry Rice Stall. This is no ordinary curry
rice stall. It has a long and interesting history.

40 years ago, a Hainanese man they called Fatso sold Hainanese
style curry rice in Garden St. off Beach Rd. His curry rice was quite
different from other curry rice. Customers had only 4 dishes to choose
from to eat with the rice.

1. Pork Chops= round flat disks about 5" in diameter, of minced pork
mixed with egg and biscuit marinated in soya sauce and God knows what
other ingredients.
2.Braised Belly Pork, smooth succulent and slighly fatty also in a
soya bean based sauce but containing traces of garlic, sugar, cloves
and cinnamon.
3.Egg fried pure and simple with the yolk intact.
4.Cabbages stewed pure and simple.

The magic of his curry rice probably lay in the gravies he poured over
your rice. First he dumped two types of curry over it, then the sauce he
braised the pork in, then some chilli oil. The result of all this was a
feast fit for hungry-and poor men like me. I remember waiting hungrily
and as he poured the various gravies over the rice, they formed coloured
contours of red, yellow and brown on the rice. The abstract patterns
thus formed were to me the work of a potential Picasso.

Needless to say, he sold the rice by the hundreds of plates and people
queued patiently. The price was $1.00 for a plate overflowing with rice
and the four standard ingredients.

Now you may ask why everybody called it Scissors Curry Rice. That was
because he cut the round disks of pork chops with a pair of scissors.
While we are on this subject of his tools of trade, let me tell you
that he also used an industrial mallet to pound the pork chops, and
used his hands to scoop the rice out of a wooden tub. And they also
said that his cabbages were the loose leaves discarded by vegetable
sellers in the old Beach Rd. market. But nobody cared because the
food was so delicious.

But Fatso had one vice, and that was gambling. All the money he made
from the hard work of cooking and selling his curry rice was lost on
gambling. Every Monday, money lenders went to his stall to collect
money. Now I am not telling any big secret beacause everybody in the
area knew that.

Well, anyway the stall carried on until sometime in the mid-80s I
think, when the old man died, and his wife carried on.All the roadside
stalls at Garden St. were cleared and his wife moved to Blanco Court.
In the next few years, she tried to expand and even franchise the
curry rice, but all failed. Blanco Court, Kitchener Rd., Kallang,
Katong, Geylang. Now I don't know where there the original one is. There
were lots of imitators claiming to be "Scissors" but none tasted the
same. Which brings us to the point of the story-what has the Tien
Seng Mixed Curry Rice Stall to do with all this ? Well it has to do
with all this, because the curry rice served there is exactly the same
and tastes exactly the same-but without the mallet and scisssors and bare
hands scooping rice out of a wooden tub. The owners were confident
enough of the quality of their curry rice not to use the Scissors name.
They must be ex-employees or something to have got the recipe for
the curry and the pork exactly the same.

And so, the original Scissors Curry rice lives on, reincarnated
as Tien Seng Mixed Curry Rice. For just $2.50 you can get the same
overflowing plate of rice, meat,egg,vegetables and curry. And we
poor hungry men still have a place to eat.

- brought to you by our feature writer Ng Tian Khean



Yesterday the shoot ended really late, like 11.30. So I decided not to rush for the last bus. Instead, I would stay alone in camp. Couldn't really sleep cause I miss my bed! But the next time I awoke dawn broke.

YES! Two hundred dollars! Didn't really expect it. My night shoot was perfect! Better than day shoot! Unbelievable.

Anyway, during the two days of shooting, I read two novels by Low Kay Hwa. Really cheesy, but really touching as well. Shameless self-promotion in the books as well. I enjoyed them. Thanks to Zhi Xiang for lending me the books. One book even talked about Nanyang JC and CHIJ and RV and Cedar! "A Photogenic Life"

Bedok Curry Chicken Noodles is really good. Ming bu xu chuan! The curry is very ru kou. Normally I don't even drink a quarter of the curry! And. The. Stall. Only. Sells. One. Thing. Zhi Xiang recommended me to some curry rice in the "west" side. GOT BROWN RICE, beehoon, etc. COOOL> I think it's the one at Tiong Bahru. Must go try!

Phew. I want my weekends back! Last week I didn't even really go home. This week only go home now. SOMEBODY SAVE ME! jkjk.

m with a tail

Yay my birthday's coming soon... I'm really proud to be a Scorpio you know. Having birthdays in November is kinda sucky though, what with PSLE and O levels and Exams and the such. Zzz.

This is a story about darkness, and FEAR.

So imagine for a moment that I have invited a guest along to join us.

This guest you may not like so much…

It is a SNAKE.

And this snake… This snake slithers in on the floor to coil up next to you while you read this article.

This snake represents your own darkness, your own fears.

I ask you to feel the energy of this snake. It is your fears. It is the outer manifestation of your fears. It is also a swirling, rising potential of energy that sits at your feet at all times, metaphorically. The snake is depicted in the DNA. It is your “kundalini”, a rising energy potential, but one that holds much fear.

Now, imagine four people – 2 women and 2 men.

They are all walking down Enlightenment Street, together.

Suddenly, a snake crawled up from the brush, onto the road, and stopped directly in front of the fourth person, a woman, who was at the back of the group. The snake slithered up to her and cut her off her path.

The snake coiled its body, reared its head and directed energies of fear straight through its eyes directly into hers.

This broke down everything she had ever learned.

It broke her down for a moment. She shrieked, and she went running back at amazing speed, back to the village where they came from that morning. She left so quickly that the others in the group could not even catch her and settle her down. She was filled with so much fear! She was so deeply terrified by this snake that she forgot everything she had ever learned.

The snake was very pleased, for he did not even need to exert himself. He scared away this woman. Be gone with her! He instantly slid back into the underbrush, out of sight, out of the way of the other three people who remained. They were confused. They did not know what to do. They were sad that one of their own had run back to the village, and would probably not resume her path on this road to enlightenment for quite some time. They discussed it briefly, and decided to continue on their path. They gave thanks and blessings that at least no one was harmed.

The three remaining people continued on their path toward enlightenment, enjoying the day, when once again a snake appeared from the underbrush. It came darting onto the road, in direct contact with one of the males. It coiled up his head and opened his mouth to expose his pointed teeth.

One of the men said, "I will kill you. You make me angry! You chased away one of the others. I'm going to kill you once and for all!" He pulled the knife out of the sheath, held his arm back, and was about to strike a blow, when the snake coiled, released, and bit him in the leg.

He died instantly.

The anger had arisen within him. He was going to save and protect the others. He was going to kill the snake, but the snake was much more cunning. The snake was much faster. The snake caught him off guard and killed him. The snake quickly escaped back into the underbrush, out of sight of the other two remaining people.

They continued walking down “Enlightenment Street”, but now it weighed heavily upon them – the events of one woman who had been scared silly and ran back to the village, and the other who had come to what seemed to be an untimely death.

They continued walking, and as you already know, the snake once again came from the underbrush, slithered onto the road, and put itself directly in the way of the one woman who remained.

The one woman who remained decided to use a different tact this time.

Instead of trying to kill the snake, she would talk the snake through its fears and angers. She knelt down, just out of reach of the snake. She said, "Oh, dear snake, you must have had a difficult childhood! Dear snake, I raise my hands now, not to attack you, but I will send you energy, and I will send you love, and I will heal you and all of the wounds from your very disturbing childhood. Oh, dear snake, I imagine that your father beat you, and that is why you are so angry. And dear snake, I will sing you a lullaby to make you feel better, to nurture your inner snake."

Now, the snake coiled back and had an interesting look on his face, a look that was quite puzzled. Here was a human that was not displaying anger. Here was a human that was trying to change him .

The snake looked at her, and a big smile came across his face. And the woman thought, "I am connecting with him, heart-to-heart. Look. He is smiling."

Suddenly, the snake leapt forward and bit her.

She died instantly.

And the snake retreated back into the underbrush, laughing and laughing and laughing to himself: "Here was a human, trying to change the world and to change me. She was the easiest of all my targets! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Now, the one remaining human was quite concerned now. He wondered about this road of Enlightenment. This was not such a good thing, for now one of his friends had been chased away in fear, and two had been killed. He sat and thought for quite awhile about whether to continue on the path. Finally, he said, "It is so deep within my being and deep within my soul that I must continue."

He continued walking, somewhat more carefully and more cautious than he had before, but he continued walking. And as you already know, after a short period of time, the snake crawled up from the underbrush once again, now feeling more invigorated and more powerful for having chased off three in one way or the other.

The snake came directly in his path. The snake said, "I will allow you to go no further on the path. Like the others, I will kill you now."

The remaining man looked the snake eye-to-eye, who was coiled and ready to bite. The snake was empowered with the blood of a human dripping from his mouth. He was so delighted with himself.

At that moment Samuel said to himself, " I must take response-ability for creating my own reality. It is not about me anymore. I must take ownership and be in a place of balance. I must breathe. I must breathe in my divinity, for this is what I have learned to be true. I must somehow let go of my fear."

Unbeknownst to both this man and the snake, an eagle had been circling overhead, watching the series of events. At the moment Samuel took in the breath, the eagle swooped down, grabbed the snake with its strong and sturdy claws, flew up hundreds and hundreds of feet into the air, did circles and spins with the snake screaming and slithering its claws. Then the eagle dropped the snake to his death on the ground.

The man breathed again, but this time, it was with relief. He continued walking on his path, and thought about the events of this very strange day. He contemplated all that had happened. He thought about the eagle, who had truly been there all of the time, waiting for the appropriate moment to come forth.

He asked himself, “What does this mean? What is the lesson?”

He continued walking on the path of enlightenment, when suddenly another snake appeared. It was a relative of the snake who was killed. This new snake was very, very pissed!

This new snake darted from the underbrush and stopped directly in front of him.

It was almost twice as long as the first snake. It coiled in front of him, and said, "I will surely kill you now, for you have killed my own relative. I will have revenge. I must, for that is the way of our snake god. We revenge all who do us harm."

Now, Samuel had been thinking quite a bit along his walk, ever since the first snake was killed. He knew it was a blessed and sacred moment when the eagle came down. He also knew that it was a divine act, and he knew there was more to be learned from all of this.

He asked himself, "What is it that I should know about the snake? What is it that I should do if this ever would happen again to me?" He listened within for the answers to his questions. He knew that the answers always come from within.

Samuel knew that he couldn't just close his eyes and wish that the eagle would swoop down once again. He knew it was time to truly take ownership of his reality. He looked the snake in the eye and said, "Dear snake, what is it that you seek? Why are you in my path?"

The snake was shocked! No human had EVER asked this question!

Humans had always acted in fear or anger or sometimes stupidity, but they had never displayed this kind of wisdom, this kind of CURIOSITY. They had never asked, "Why are you here in my path? What is that you have for me?"

To his questions, the snake responded, "Dear Sir, I am you. I am no different from you. I am not some external reptile. I am your darkness, your fear. And I come here today to stand in your path because you, Sir, do not like change. You, Sir, have issues that need addressing. I am here as a messenger to help you bring your issues to the surface. I can be your greatest enemy, or your greatest teacher. It is up to you."

The man thought for a moment and then asked the snake, "But if it is so simple, if it is so simple, then why did the first snake kill and scare the other humans? Why couldn't you just come to us and explain why you are here?"

And the snake shook what little head it had and said, "That is not the way it works. It is only when we are asked, only when you have enough curiosity, only when you open the door by asking the questions, can we then answer. We do not want to be changed. We do not want to be attacked. But when a human comes to us – the snake that is within – and asks, then we must tell. We must share."

So the man now understood his own power, his own balance, and he understood why the snake had been sent there in the first place. They talked for many, many, many hours.

The man learned much through this experience about himself. He saw the darkness and the fears that were within him, expressed through the snake. When they were done, he said to the snake, "I still do not like you. I still do not like when you show up on my path. I still do not like what you represent. But, now I know that you come bearing a gift. Now I know there is a reason for your being, and now I know how to address you and what to do."

He continued on his path.

There was an occasional but rare snake that attempted to stop him. He understood it was just a test of his own being to see if he was still staying in his balance. But now, each time a snake appeared before him, he would smile, and he would say, "Why are you here? What is it that I should know? Why are you here? What is it that you want? What's the wisdom? What is the lesson that you bring?"

Dear friends, as we move into our hearts, there are still issues.

There are still the imbalances.

They will appear, but understand, as the man in this story came to understand, that the darkness, the fear, at its core level, are issues and energies within you that seek release. That is all.

If you hold an imbalance of fear within you, the darkness can cause you to go scampering back to the village where you came from. If you hold fears and you allow them to let you forget everything you've learned, to shake you to the core, you will run backwards to the village, back to your security. This snake of fear and darkness that scared you away did not get what he came for. He wasn't trying to scare you.

He was really looking to be addressed.

The fear seeks release. It has insidious ways of doing this. It has damaging and crippling ways of doing it. But go straight to the core and understand that the fears within you seek to be released.

When you try to kill the snake as the second man did, when you go after it in anger and judgment, it is throws you into imbalance. You have discovered that in yourself. When you are angry, when there is something that happens from within and you get angry within yourself, you lose!

Anger is an imbalance. It isn't, as so many of you have tried to argue with me, a useful emotion. Anger is FEAR-BASED.

When you are angry with yourself and others, it is like trying to build a house during an earthquake.

Understand this when the snake is standing in front of you, and you are angry, and you draw your knife, and say, "I will cut your head off. I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Even if you do manage to kill the snake, it will come back through all of its relatives. It will be there, because the fear seeks to be released!

Education makes us lazy. Lazy to learn. I've seen so many friends study only for the sake of studying. Because it's the path laid out for them. Study, go uni, get job. The easiest path. Yeah, education now has become more flexible. Students are encouraged to think for themselves. Yet I still see so many people scan their notes like a machine. Some even hate studying. Actually, who loves studying. Lol. We have to learn how to learn. Correction. We have to unlearn the negative way of "learning" that early schools teach us. The natural way of learning is to get feedback. There is no right or wrong. But we are only reinforced for "success". "Failure", and we are down. School is just like military. Governed by artificial time, rules and regulations.

I'm an "alone person". I don't like to depend on others and prefer that others do the same unto me. I would rather explore things on my own. It doesn't mean that I'm anti-social. In fact, I enjoy people. It's just that I need a lot of alone time to recharge, to think about stuff. And speaking about thinking, I just love to think in the toliet. Sounds gross eh. It's actually one of the cleanest places. Quiet too. Unless.. never mind. I can think my day away in the toliet. I even fell asleep in it. Aww.

I'm still afraid.
I don't dare to commit.
It's not that I don't trust you.
Give me time.
I still have scars in my heart.

I will never buy a petrol car. That's because I already have BMW. Bus, MRT, Walk. Plus cycling, of course. I am able to appreciate more beauty around me when I walk. I don't have to concentrate on driving, which is especially stressful when they are a lot of cars on the road. And some drivers are just too high-strung.

I hate it when some cars come along and disturb the serenity of the street I am walking/cycling on. And oh, the smell. I don't understand why pedestrians have to be at risk crossing roads, even at pedestrian crossings. We are walking man. Caring for the Earth. And we have to give way to some dangerous wild object. Even animals are safer. I witnessed a terrible accident where a maid was attacked by a vehicle doing a turn into the pedestrian crossing.

It is so hard to walk peacefully on most pedestrian walkways. I hate people who cycle on pedestrian walkways. And they have the nerve to ring the bell so many times. And expect us to immediately react. Walkways are for walking people! It is usually safer to cycle on the road. People don't know. I have to tell them. And they don't believe. Cars can see you better on the road. You can see them better too. It is better than zooming across zebra crossings, which 99% of cyclists love to do. It is also not necessary to wear a helmet. If you wear a helmet, you might think it is safe and be less alert. Cars might also be less wary because you're wearing a helmet. So the best thing is to prevent accidents in the first place, not expect them.

Well anyway, 25 random things about me.

1) I would rather ignore most of the human beings around me than be very friendly with them. Interacting with too many people wears me out. I’ll save my interactions for the important ones, thanks.

2) My noise tolerance threshold is very low. A little bit of superfluous noise can drive me crazy.

3) I do not enjoy talking to people. It makes me uncomfortable. I’d rather listen. Unless you’re very close to me of course. (Anyway, you learn more from listening than talking)

4) I do not like being put down. Ok let me repeat that, I DO NOT LIKE BEING PUT DOWN. A girl has her pride too, you know. Especially a girl with an ego as big as mine. Yes, I know I’m tactless, but I expect you (in a rather unreasonable way) to be tactful.

5) If I feel appreciated, I’ll work my ass off for you. More than one person knows that already. Otherwise, nearly nothing can make me move my ass for other people.

6) I spend money on far too much food. At least I don’t worry much about my weight afterwards.

7)I do not like stupid people. There is an exception though: I’m very indulgent towards a particular few people, even if they are stupid.

8 ) I stopped shopping as a form of entertainment long ago. I realised that there was nothing I regretted not buying, and a whole lot of things I regretted buying.

9) If I feel you’re better at the job than I am, I’ll let you take over and do whatever you say. If I feel I’m better, you better let me take over. It’s all about using the best tools for the job. (I do tend to respect and listen to most people of course, just ask some of my project mates and superiors)

10) I am like a border collie sometimes. I can’t sit around and do nothing if I have excess energy. I need to do something productive!

11) I do not like people making plans about my life without being asked. Most of the time, their plans are incompatible.

12) I would rather inconvenience myself than others. In the same way, I do not like others inconveniencing me.

13) I do not like picking fights with people. I prefer to go away and ignore you. But if you corner me, watch out!

14) I like to think that I’m worth more than my external appearance. That’s why I’m so sloppy.

15) If I find a situation is going nowhere, I just drop it and get lost.

16) I hate it when my colleagues come to work even though they’re sick. For God’s sake take a fucking MC (medical certificate) and go home and rest. You’ll get well faster and you won’t be spreading the germs around. Besides, what little work you do when you’re sick is more than cancelled out by the work lost when you infect the whole office and everyone’s productivity drops too.

17) My home is very important to me. It’s where I totally destress at the end of each day. If some outsider comes to my home, I become unable to destress for the amount of time that person is around. It makes me VERY cranky. That’s why I don’t have parties.

18) I like exploring. Despite that, I still have no sense of direction.

19) I do not like most girls. I think they are silly, shallow twits.

20) Generally I dislike ineffeciency. I like to do things efficiently. But I do realise that planning and executing things efficiently is not really the easiest thing in the world sometimes.

21) I cringe when people sneeze and cough in my direction. If I can hold my coughs and sneezes until no one is around, I don’t see why they can’t. (Yes, I can hold in a cough for an entire 45 min bus ride) If it’s really that impossible, take an MC and stay home and stop spreading the germs.

22) I dislike it when people equate guy+girl to relationships (the lovey stuff). It makes me uncomfortable. It’d be sad if men and women could only think of each other as sexual partners.

23) I treat people as mere objects, unless they are relevant to my life. Then they upgrade and become people. I seldom get truly committed to anyone. If I do, watch out! According to a sms quiz my sis sent me, I have a stalker’s personality.

24) I try my best to have a healthy lifestyle. (It isn’t the easiest thing)

25) I like to pursue many vastly different fields of study. I feel that it is best that a person should be able to speak intelligently and in an informed manner about any subject.

From satanery.wordpress.com

Wow. I was kinda blog surfing when I happened along this post. I was impressed. I could relate to 23 things out of 25 in the list. So I decided to plaglari.. i mean quote content. It's more efficient. =p

I just had a parade rehearsal at Seletar. It took me 10 mins to reach home. Totally outrageous. Imagine if I hadn't volunteered to go Changi. Jeez. I could cycle to and from camp like, everyday? Even Paya Lebar I don't mind lor. Lol. I love my current place though. Just wondering what would it have been like to take the other road.

After a few months in the army, I realised why I dislike it. It's the unnaturalness. All the adhering to artificial time. The hierarchy of ranks. I absolutely cannot stand the sweeping of dead leaves away from fresh grass. It's robbing the earth. Create waste out of useful material. Then there is so much usage of styrofoam. Cup noodles, styrofoam cups etc. I hate parade stuff the most. We have to stand for long periods, which is so inhuman. Plus we have to stay still, usually in unnatural positions like having our chest up and hands behind back. Harmful stuff man. Other than that, I don't really mind being in the army. It's like some permanent resort anyway. Although we do have work to do. I kind of enjoy my work, for now. Lol. Okay. Gotta go back liaoz. Zzz.

Sandy is scary! I got love bites all over =X Phew. Had a real cool four day off. This week is gonna be hectic. My Friday and Sunday confirm burn liao. Goodbye, dearie weekend!

It's been so long. I have been living, far from the rest of the world, tucked away in a small corner called Changi. I'm getting used to the life there, enjoying my time there. Seems to be so fast. Oh, the nostalgia. Sandy is really the cute little one. I love to play with her. She's so receptive to touch. And her big eyes. Oh it melts my heart. Lol. Now I must go. Tonight I was able to come out because I had somehow scored well in some test. Oh wells. Cya.

Yesterday I chatted with Kenneth. It was mostly about Singapore and the education system. Singapore has one of the highest walking speeds in the world. We cannot deny that life is high paced here. Why are we stressed? That's because we choose to be stressed. In fact, many things are caused by ourselves. Why does our back hurt? Because we don't use our muscles properly. Back pain does not come magically. It comes when we arch our back when sitting, pick up things without bending our knees and so on. Our head is like a watermelon. Now imagine holding on to the watermelon everyday. That's what happens when we don't balance our head properly on top of the spine. Our neck muscles have to carry a watermelon everyday. No wonder we get pains and aches. In fact, our body naturally balances itself. Look at the effortless poise of children. We are the ones who disrupt the natural process by introducing tension. It becomes a habit and we become unaware.

Like running. Why do so many people get injuries from running? They put too much effort into running, and usually they don't pay attention to their body. Plus the sports shoes. Seriously, sports shoes are plain damaging. They disrupt the body's natural mechanism. Some even increase the impact to our legs. We do not need shoes. Actually, we do not need a lot of things. Televisions, computers, books, cosmetics etc. We just need food and sleep, plus a certain amount of hygiene. There is too much simulation, so much that we have become uncaring of the beauty around us.

There is no such thing as a teenager. That is just one stage of life that we have artificially introduced. Teenagers have the same, if not better moral and cognitive development as adults. Our IQ peak in our "teenage" years. In fact, at 14 years old we can be considered adults. It is just because of social expectations that we remain "teenagers". In Singapore, we are considered adults only at 21. That is far too old.

Kaisin reminisces about her good old days when she walks through "teeny" stalls like 77th street. "Teens" drive part of the economy. We are so misled into buying stuff we don't need. Happiness becomes associated with buying stuff that we want. Everything is a marketing ploy. Take for example diamonds. They are not the most precious gems. In fact, they are highly abundant compared to real gems like sapphires and rubies. All the jewellery shops and advertisements like to "express your love for your loved one by buying a diamond" etc. That is so, so wrong! That's why I felt so angry when my dear friend bear to plonk down hundreds for one useless stone. I praise the marketing though. Holidays are also exploited. Cards! I personally think a birthday/etc card is inferior to a personal lunch. Sometimes cards are really appropriate but we should make time for our loved ones. Time is the real thing.

Love and happiness cannot be bought!
They cannot be found!
That's because
they are present in all of us already.

The Beauty of Physics

Why is it that in front of a camera, one's face can appear larger or smaller depending on the angle and distance? There must be some secret technique, to make the face appear at its best. After much observation and contemplation, I have discovered it. There is only one answer: trial and error. That is, the retaking of photos until one is satisfied with it. This revelation has been possible only with the aid of our dear Very Vivien(TM). Unfortunately, I have not managed to find out the accurate number of times needed to take a perfect photo. That is because Very Vivien(TM) had to leave before an absolutely perfect photo was taken. About 20 photos had been taken until she become slightly more satisfied than dissatisfied. By plotting a graph of number of times of photo taken against the satisfaction level, extrapolating it while taking into account the possible mood fluctuations of a most likely normal, probably healthy, very pretty and cute young girl, I have estimated the number of times needed to take a perfect photo. The divine number is 200288. All hail the divine number!

Below is a quote from somewhere.

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.
Guess what's the big source of energy?

There's something wrong with the water there. Everybody caught flu. Some got so ill, they had to pack bag and go home. It's also likely that the flu spread because of high social contact but I still think the water is the culprit. My uncle's friends all kanna cough and whatever after going there.

I'm kinda pissed. Initially, I only had blocked nose and a minor cough. Fair enough. Nearing the end, I began to have fever every night. I would be alive and kicking in the morning. As evening draws near, my fever would rise to 39 degrees. I have never felt so hot before. Fever's still okay, at least I can rest. My cough worsened, especially after I got out the island. What a bitch. I will recover before I go back. I will. I will.

If there's one thing good about that place, it's the scenery. You won't believe it's Singapore. And the stars and moon. Somehow the clouds never block the heavens at night.

Taiwan and Meme

Woah. 8 days felt like 8 hours. I miss everyone! I miss the aircon weather! Ah... Post Taiwan depression. I'm starting to sound like Chuan. LOL. It's so fast, I'm going to be a soldier tmr. Zzz.

Anyway, I've been tagged. It's troublesome, but I gotta do this. Thanks Jun Wee.


I'm tagged.

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I have a weird sense of humour. Enough said.

2. I can be so quiet that you hear pins drop. The next moment I may talk non-stop.

3. I hate wasting stuff. So I try not to take lifts. I don't use tissue paper. I absolutely hate superfluous packaging. As long as it's less than 3km, it's not far.

4. I love to be on time.

5. I love to sleep early and wake up early.

6. I am a glutton, but I remain slim and slender. It's not really weird, but...

Actually it's more of a list of quirks rather than weird things. This is because I'm not a weird person. YEAH.

So, the following people, you gonna do this troublesome thing. Cause I did. (Sounds so advertisementish). Camillus, Calista, WanSu, Jan, Waye, Zara

the one family ktv

Okay. I really really recommend this place, compared to leeches like kbox and party world.

The first time I saw the place was when I went out with my junior og members. We were on our way to cine when we saw a certain promotion at this ktv place. Because they were newly opened, we could sing free for 2 hours! There was also one set of free drinks. We were quite suspicious at first, but the person at the counter reassured us that there were no strings attached. Walk in, sing, walk out. So we did. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Granted, the system was pretty laggy and a few songs were unavailable. BUT! It's free man. At least that was what I thought at the time. I thought I would never go there again.

So imagine my surprise, when I went there again last Sunday. We were supposed to go kbox. Yan Ho brought his little brother Daniel. AND for the FIRST time he did not wear VJ pants! (Actually we didn't notice at that time until everybody got home and Viv msged "question of the day: did yanho wear vj pants?") I'm digressing. Anyway, we went to the fourth floor, cine. Usually, it's about 12+++ for singing 2-7pm. But now it's 12 for 2-4 and 14.40 for 2-5. WTF? Atrocious. Daylight robbery. Rape. So anyway we decided to try party world instead of a movie, since Chuan commented that movie was anti-social and of course, yours truly doesn't really like movies, especially when singing is available. Plus it was a Sunday. $9.50. Oh I still have my Eng Wah voucher, courtesy of Mrs/Miss Tay/Wong/Dunno aiya Angeline la. Cine don't have Eng Wah. So, we went for an exciting lift ride to the first floor and tried to walk to party world. I said tried, because we stopped at "the one family ktv". Shit, it's a conspiracy, all the ktvs are so near each other. Yan Ho was talking about how Chuan can be the father and Viv the mother. While we discovered that, it was $50++ for a 6 ppl room. No room charge, no pax charge, free drinks and mixed nuts & fruits. The catch was, we had to buy up to $50 worth of food, or rather $62.50 because there was a 20% discount. Do the math, yo. Actually, we didn't have to buy that amount of food, it's just that we had to pay a minimum of $50++. So, why not?

In the end, it turned out to be real cool. Uber value for money. I mean $50++ for 6 ppl, plus you get to eat so much food! Okay lar, it was like $10 for a dozen satay and drinks were $7 each, but still! It's absolutely cheaper than some other leeches. I'm sure that if we had sung at kbox, the cost would be around 90++. Man they freaking charge for tidbits when all it does is to make you thirsty. Plus you are not allowed to bring your own beverages inside. Talk about good business practice. Sheesh.

If I had one qualm about the place, it was the damn lighting. Green and yellow, creepy lighting, with mirrors all around. It's like a haunted maze. BHrrrh. Well, we stay in the room most of the time, so it's not a big problem. Beauty is not skin deep. I will definitely patronise them again.


A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.


I experienced my first bout of seasickness. Alcohol probably compounded it. I got off the ferry, then I felt like fainting. My stomach was like clogged pipes. I felt like puking. Which I didn't, in the end. Then as I stumbled along the path, I faintly heard my friends asking "are you ok". Everything became saturated and dazzling, like the special effects in video cameras. I could feel needles poking in my muscles. Amazingly, I could still walk through the customs, and take a taxi. Otherwise I won't be typing this now.

Temperature Extremes

20C: Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them)
15C: Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them)
10C: Singaporeans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers.
5: You can see your own breathing. Italian cars don't start.
Norwegians take a bath. Russians drive with lowered windows.
0C: Water freezes in Singapore, in Russia it thickens.
-5C: French cars don't start.
-10C: You're planning a vacation to Australia.
-15C: Your cat insists to sleep in your bed. Norwegians put on sweaters.
-18C: New York landlords turn on the heaters. Russians make their last seasonal picnic.
-20C: American cars don't start. People in Alaska start wearing long-sleeves.
-25C: German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead.
-30C: Politicians start talking about homeless people. Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas.
-40C: You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars do not start.
-42C: Transportation stops in Europe. Russians eat ice cream on the street.
-45C: All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something for the homeless.
-50C: Your eyelids start sticking when you blink. In Alaska, people close the window in the bathroom.
-60C: White bears start moving south.
-70C: The hell froze
-73C: Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland. Russians wear earmuff hats.
-80C: Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-114C: Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.
-273.15C: Absolute zero, atomic movement theoretically stops. Russians wear boots.
-295C: 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes world champion!

Now we know what we didn't know all along - the adolescent brain is not only different from the adult specimen but inchoate, imperfectly developed yet actively building highways, exit ramps, cloverleaves and rest stops in order to conquer the challenges of negotiating life's passages. In the meantime the teenage intellect is best described as the world's largest bumper car ride.

Photo of the Week

Wow. Is all that I can say.

SMU is too tantalising! I have a direct bus there, I can cycle there easily, the hostel rocks if I need to stay there. Double degree in social science and something else.. Haha, that's overkill. Oh and it's so near the national library and city. Shit. What a dilemma.

I am so SCREWED. Why did I even agree to go on so many trips in the first place? First was Bangkok, next was Bintan and then it's Taiwan. In fact, to save cost I'm going to stay at my friend's buddy/my buddy's place. Of course they won't mind, but.. I feel quite bad. After all, they have school going on. Geez. I'm going to try to limit my budget there. Lucky the food prices there aren't like Japan. Or else = dead wei qi.

NUS application: I was thinking about what to put for my second choice, but my dear NYJC OGL saved me. I met her in Bugis concidentally and she said she was in food science. That rang a bell in my head. ding! I had wanted to do food science initially, then I changed my interest. I wonder why I had forgotten about food science.


That's not right
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?
Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man
Dum Fuk

Small Horse
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?
Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table
Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here
Wai So Dim

I thought you were on a diet
Wai Yu Mun Ching

This is a tow away zone
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week
Wai Yu Kum Nao

Staying out of sight
Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile
Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive
Yu Stin Ki Pu

Fa Kin Su Pa!!!!

Goldenmile food is just too cheap, er inexpensive. I bought Hainanese Chicken Rice, no set, no vegetables added, nothing. It was $2.50. It came with a large bowl of chicken peanut soup, chilli(duh) and there was tomatoes and cucumbers, parsley too. And then.. there was ham(!). WTF! They have too much leftover ingredients is it. The rice was like two bowls. And when I eat at food courts, the normal price's $3.50, sans tomatoes and cucumbers. One bowl of rice, too. Shit, it's even cheaper than if I cook it myself.. Can't stand it. If I cook it myself, rice(10c) + chicken($1) + cucumber(10c) + tomato (5c) + peanuts (5c) + gas/electricity (10c)= $1.40, HEY, wait a minute..

Book of the Kouga Ninja Arts

Basilisk rocks. It is like a grown-up version of Naruto. No, they shouldn't be compared. They are just different. Basilisk is sexy. Unpredictable. For example, two main characters totally died in the first episode. In fact, I think in every episode at least one main character dies. And they die, mostly when you least expect it. Their ninja techniques are hidden until the very last moment. When the opponent dies. Shit, I just can't describe it. You have to watch it, hear it, feel it.

There's one character that super very much resembles the hairy gorilla from One Piece. Or is it the other way around? Or perhaps it's some Japanese myth or legend. Dunno. I have stopped watching One Piece. It has let off too much steam after 300 episodes. Gawds. Even Naruto(!) and Bleach are getting exciting.

Crap. The stove ran out of gas. Lucky my food was cooked.

Windows vs Linux

There has been a lot of debates about Windows vs Linux lately, especially with the advent of Vista. Being a long time user of Linux, I must say it wins hands down. Everything about it is superior to Windows, even Vista. Except probably, commercial support for games. I have a console, so it's okay. I just enjoy the freedom of not having to pay for 95% of software. Everything is free, and is easily customisable. It is almost much, much easier to fix things compared to Windows. In Windows, some errors just suddenly pop up and you don't know what went wrong. And you need to restart, restart and restart. Not for Linux. System files can be updated on the fly.

In a nutshell, Linux can do about anything that Windows can, and more. It just needs more support. Which is starting to come.

Back bridges

When I first learnt of back bridges during dance, I thought nothing of it. It was just another exercise. Recently, I found out that someone's daughter said that "it was the best exercise in the world, because it does the whole body, even the neck" and that "the neck is very important because it is connected to the head". That interested me. I tried it, and I have to say, it really is one of the best exercises out there, maybe even the best. It feels great after holding the bridge for as long as you can stand it and I huff and puff like a bad wolf after that.


Smell and taste may be complementary but when it comes to cooking, everything goes haywire. Sometimes, I become bold and mix ingredients that don't smell like they fit. I am surprised when I taste it. It's like say, smelly tofu and cheese. They smell bad to some people but taste great. This time, I'm trying chrysanthemum and peanuts. Wonder how it will turn out.

Am I done blaming my parents? Do I know that they are responsible for the mistakes they made in the past, and do I accept that I am responsible for fixing their mistakes?

As usual, half of my school got 4As. Half of the other half got at least 3As. Congrats. I got a C for Maths, and a M for Math S. C FOR MATHS! What a miracle. I guess I got tired of scoring As. Oh well. But I don't regret it. In fact, I feel like I have been relieved of my burdens. Kamel must be proud of me. Physics turned out to be my best subject, which was not my intention. My intention, was to have all subjects the same score.

I'm scared of people who got AAAA+DM+A1 and remain disappointed. I don't know what's important in their life, man.

Anyway, I'm so excited about NUS. I hope it moves somewhere near my house by next year or the year after.

PS. All the best to Waye and Kevin.


are overrated. I do not see the point in Panadol. It takes care of fever, when fever is the body's natural defense mechanism? Sure, it relieves pain. But it's just not natural. The body can recover well on its own. That's why I don't like Western medicine. Most of them just relieve symptoms. Drugs are mostly there for people to make money. I would rather spend the money on a good diet. It's probably even cheaper than food courts and stuff.

I abhor soft drinks as well. I can understand why people would want to drink them. Ads, sugar. They are pretty attractive. Actually I think ads are really harmful. Compulsive shopping would be gone if people didn't look at ads, or if they knew how ads worked. Yeah, television ads are like viruses disguised.

Speaking about television, I think watching it is one of the most useless activities ever. Relatively. If it's relaxation one wants, I'm 100% sure a book or a stroll at some waterfall will do better justice. Hell, talking to friends is much better. Television dulls the mind. That's what I think. I know there are documentaries and stuff. Television is not totally crap.

Ahh.. results day. I wonder what kind of results I'll get?