Selena Quintanilla

I Could Fall In Love with Dreaming of You. Great songs. Dreaming of You is still the best! I immediately fell in love with it. I discovered this treasure thanks to Lol.

Rejoice! I have found the dream instant noodles. No MSG, no disodium inosinate, disodium ribonucleotide, disodium guanylate or any such nonsense. It is still not that healthy, but it is the best I could find. For that price. Behold! Samyung Udong Noodles. By adding vegetables, eggs, etc, it makes for a meal cheaper and better than fast food. Yay. Ureshii!


Phew. I got home before heavy rain came. Lucky me. Bar the thunder, it would be good weather for sleeping. My hair's wet though. I was thinking of not washing it, but it is super oily.

Today I spent $50. Extravagance. I spent $27.80, actually $32.50 because of ++ on Japanese buffet. Kushin-Bo Restaurant, located on Suntec City level 3, near Toys R Us. Dom recommended that we eat there. I especially liked the vanilla ice cream. At first, I didn't notice matcha ice cream was beside it. The second time I saw. I was so happy. Ureshii! I tasted it. It was sweet. Yucks. Lol. I prefer my matcha ice cream not so sweet. But hell. It was nice though, just because it's matcha! I had chasoba for the first time. The prawn soup, served in a teapot, drank like traditional Japanese sake, was cool. The taste was neither bland nor overbearing. Just nice. I guess all soups that have prawns inside will taste nice. Well, I enjoyed my meal there. Nice ambience. I just hoped that they removed the curtains and widen the walkways. There's just too many patrons! We had to queue even before opening hours. Other than that, I would recommend an occasional meal there. Actually, once for me is enough, because I don't care for such extravagance. Lol.

Anyway, congratulations to Domimi for escaping the hell that is army. I hope one year will pass by in one day. Then at that time I will miss army. In the army, about everything is provided for you. It's so tempting to sign on. Lol. I shifted beds. Now I am sleeping on the bottom. I am sleeping right beside the door as well. I will miss sleeping on the top, at the corner. I wonder how it will be like. Next week is totally a one day working week. Wednesday, there's some Timor whatever run. We will have the day off after the run. Thursday is a public holiday. Suay suay I cannot take off on Friday because of my gate duty. IF NOT, ONE WEEK NO WORK WEEK! Lol. But after this week. It is going to be quite tough. Super burning of weekends. BOOM.

Well, I am gonna have to start doing household chores tomorrow. Actually, why it is even called chores. I enjoy doing them. I am a neat and clean freak! Thanks to my perfectionist streak as usual. LOL.

I finished reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. It is one of the best books I have ever read. It is about the loss of man's spirit. It is written on a grand scale. It contains many great ideas, relevant to her philosophy. At the same time, it is a thriller with a lot of twists and turns. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I realised that, I tend to take things to the extreme. It's all thanks to the perfectionist streak, which I have tried to curb for many years now. I love to test limits, sometimes exceeding them. Some people cannot take it, and I feel sorry for them. That they have to deal with a person such as me. If I do things, I will do my best, no matter how small it is. Correction. I used to be like that. Now, I accept the fact that I cannot be perfect. I used to expect people to be their best, but not anymore. I do feel the disappointment though, that no one can be perfect. I especially hate it when people don't try to be their best, even though it's none of my business.

I always hope that unassertive people can be more assertive, that passive-aggressive people can be normal. I tire of dealing with people who pretend that everything is alright, but obviously show signs of distress. It is a underhanded way, because it is a way of hurting people, without it seeming to be so. Victimisation; to be the victim, so as to "protect" oneself. "The victim is always right". Sometimes, they may really be the victim and they get too engrossed in their role as one. They plan to be the victim forever. They won't be frank about their feelings and they won't give the pleasure of forgiving others, and themselves. It is absolutely their right to not forgive others, but I think they should forgive themselves. To stop lying to themselves.

So far, I have encountered quite a few of these kind of people. I am jaded. These are the people who tend to blame others, who cannot accept their own misdeeds. They do not yet have the capacity to be frank about themselves and other people. Their "hidden" resentment bites from the back and shows up in unexpected places. They think, that it is bad to be wrong and they make up excuses just to please themselves. Absolutely lame excuses. They tend to be late, because.. they do not really want to be there? Or at least a part of themselves. This I do not really know. They are never honest about their feelings and fear intimacy. This is 100x times worse then someone who openly tells you that they hate you! Pretense of compliance is worse then non-compliance. They resist suggestions, whether they be helpful or negative. Some of them are being nice, in order to make people like them. Then they expect people to be nice to them. They think they have nothing else to give! They avoid responsiblity by giving excuses that "I'm lousy, that's why I can't do it, and if you ask me to do it, don't blame me if things go wrong!" They are intentionally inefficient, not because they don't want to be their best, not because they don't want the limelight, but just because they don't want to deal with responsibility! They will never decide for themselves, because they want to avoid responsibility. They will make you decide, so that it won't be their fault when things go wrong.

Of course, they have the right to be themselves. Let them be. I will make my stand. I do not like their passive-aggressive behaviours! I can understand how it comes about (overbearing parents, alcoholic parents) but I do not think it is an excuse to remain that way! I think it is very manipulative behaviour. I do not think it is healthy. I do not approve of their fear of intimacy, because it means they are unable to receive fulfillment from intimate relationships, which I think is very important! I pity their dishonesty, their not-so-white lies. I think they need help! I have decided. I won't let them into my life any longer, until they change. If they never change, or if they think they don't need to change, so be it. I have spoken.