Horoscopes

You know, I don't really hate horoscopes. They're kind of fun to read sometimes.

What I hate is people believing in them.

I find them to be so restricting. When you believe in them, you restrict yourself to those beliefs. And when the mind is filled, it can't take in any more stuff. Any evidence that is contradicting will be dismissed. And you hold on even more strongly to those beliefs. Then your mind is closed. It's like, believing everything that the church has to say.

Now I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Perhaps it's good that you have a tether, something to cling to in case you are lost.

But to me, it's a bad thing. I'm a free spirit, and I definitely resist someone telling me what to do, or what I can be.

When you walk one path, you miss out on other paths.

Obsession

I tend to get obsessed over certain things very easily. I fixate my eyes on one thing, and I can get stuck for a long time. Even when I'm doing other things, my mind always goes back to that one thing. It can happen to anything. People, math problems, material things. In short, it's just damn hard for me to LET GO.

I've been trying so hard to protect myself. Because if I fall, I fall DEEP. And it's damn hard to climb out of that hole. And so I've been trying the KISS principle. Keep It Simple and Stupid. Well I guess that's kind of an obsession to be simple. Lol.

The truth is, I just feel too strongly. And I love to pretend that I don't, and maybe sometimes I almost believe that I do! And it tears me up inside without me knowing it. I'm holding so much inside, that sometimes it's like I'm gonna burst.

Sometimes it manages to escape and I do things without inhibition. Then I can't believe how crazy I am. But I am crazy.

I don't know, man. How do I stop this?

Singing workshop

So today I went to a singing workshop at focusmusic with Tiffany thanks to her recommendation.

This is what I learnt:

When singing low or high, use resonance from diaphragm.

Open mouth for more resonance and faster breathing.

Sing to beat. E.g. heavy beat - heavy emphasis etc.

Pronounce words correctly.

Paying attention

It's been a long time since I went out with someone who'll pay full attention to me.
Everybody seems so distracted with their phones.

I mean, seriously. Some virtual world is more important than me?
No, I refuse to do the same thing.

I really wish I didn't mind, but I do.

Ode to the nice guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

No intelligence > Intelligence

Miss Understood: "Intellectuals have a better understanding of the world and therefore see just how f***ed up it is. Stupid people,on the other hand, live in their own little bubbles and pretty much create their own existance, far away from the problems of the real world. Afterall, ignorance is bliss."


Maybe it's easier to be stupid...

But then, I don't want to be stupid... Because, intelligence is beautiful...

FMR!

a.k.a Fk My Results!, or, My Results are Fked!, or Results Fked Me!

So here's the breakdown:

ST2334 - Statistics (A)
I almost always do well in Maths modules - I should totally do a Maths minor.

GEM2900 - Uncertainty and Probability (B+)
I think it was because of this module that I got A for stats. I love you Chen Peiyi!

LSM2201A - Experimental Biochemistry (B-)
I probably could have done better, but it's a life science module so I guess it's acceptable.

LSM2101 - Metabolism and Regulation (C+)
Fk you! I studied damn freaking hard for this module. But once again the life science modules work their voodoo magic. Grrr

CS2102 - Database Systems (C+)
I messed up this one, I swear. But then I didn't really like this module anyway.

ES1102 - English for Academic Purposes (C+)
WTF? Are you kidding me? It's 0MC, but still... My English ain't that bad! Or maybe it is... *sulks*

So, my CAP has increased to 3.19, but it's still a long climb to honours. All thanks to last sem. I'm gonna retake Organic Chemistry this sem, so wish me luck man. I'll really need it.

Sometimes I really feel like giving up... Maybe I'm just not cut out for university life.

glassworks

by imperterrito
Close your eyes and feel it...

Reminiscence

I find that as I grow older, I tend to look back on the "good old days". Is that how old people think? You know, I used to resent how the older people revisit the past all the time. Maybe because I was young and hadn't walked much on the path of life? But now that there's a trail, I would look back on it sometimes. Well I do get that warm fuzzy feeling when I look back on the good ole days. But I suspect it is all a trick of the mind. Memories are so malleable, they might change according to how you feel right now. Sure, they are good old days, but what could possibly be better than now? Living is a miracle and if we abandon this moment, we might as well not live at all.

Oh memory, ye double-edged sword.

Jfreeze - Bubble tea killer

Last Saturday, I had one of the best drinks of my life.

Jollibean J-Freeze ~ Matcha with Azuki beans
Ice-blended green tea with with azuki beans. The ice is blended so well, it tastes like ice cream! And I'm a fan of green tea ice cream! It's not rough like ice kachang. Wow, there's simply no words to describe it. It's heavenly! And it could probably replace a meal too. It's damn filling. The price is $3 or 2.80 without the beans. I must say the price is just right! It's totally worth it! I would buy this over any bubble tea, ANY DAY! In fact, I'm officially quitting bubble tea and jumping ship over to Jollibean!

Sorry for the crappy picture. It really doesn't do the drink justice. But it would be weird not to post a picture, right?

Bubble tea killer gogogogo!

Super damage!

Darn, I just spent a bomb. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really thrifty or not. I realise that I usually spend my money in big chunks.

So, within a month...

I couldn't resist the Dell U2311H. It was totally a steal at $279. I found a two-month old U2311H for $250! I should have haggled more though. But I'm not a fan of haggling. I'm a lousy trader! Anyway the price's very cheap for an IPS monitor. Granted, it's e-IPS, a lousier version of IPS, but it still trumps the usual TN monitors. TN = Twisted Nematic, IPS = In-Plane Switching. The market is saturated with TN monitors right now. TN is cheap, but has lousy colour reproduction compared to IPS. So I upgraded my 20" TN monitor to a 23" IPS monitor. I'm impressed with the increase in screen area. Placing my Samsung 206BW and Dell U2311H side by side, however, I couldn't really differentiate the colour reproduction. There are some differences, but it's hard to tell for the untrained eye. But of course I will never go back to a TN monitor. I hope the market comes out with mainstream IPS monitors soon. IPS really owns TN. I managed to sell my old trusty 206BW for $85 on Ebay. I however, regret not putting the price higher. I guess I was just impatient. I hate to see things collecting dust. There was a $95 offer in the forums... Argh, $10...

Damage = 250 - 85 = 165

Of course, with a bigger monitor, I totally NEEDED a better graphics card. I was sick of ATI's drivers, so I decided to support the green camp - nVIDIA. Seriously nVIDIA's drivers are soooo much better. I like ATI's hardware though. Oh well. Sometimes you just can't have your cake and eat it.

Damage = 275 - 70 = 205

I was sick of my noisy CPU cooler too. So I decided to get a better one. And who else but Coolermaster would I go for? I really like their products. They're cheap, and they work well. Super value for money. I bought the Hyper212+. It's awesome! It was a pain to attach it though. I had to REMOVE the motherboard! My casing does have a hole at the back, but it didn't seem to be built for AMD CPUs. So I couldn't attach one final screw at the back. I tried very hard to do everything without REMOVING the motherboard, but I broke the bracket of the original cooler by mistake. :(

Oh I also bought some 2GB DDR2 ram as well. Damn expensive man. I wished I had bought it during the crazily in supply period. They were $25 a piece then! Now it's twice the price. Wasted man.

Damage = 48 + 56 = 104

-----

My chair broke. So I went shopping at IKEA! Good chairs are reallllyyyy expensive man. In the end, I bought a $219 one. I was very tempted to get the $399 one, since it was approved for office use and would probably last 10 years or more. I think there was warranty too! But I just couldn't bring myself to buy it... While walking to check out, I saw a very very nice wall lamp. It was $29, but I couldn't stand my old yucky flabby wall lamp anymore. It took some trouble to attach it, and I even contemplated buying a drill, but I managed to make do with the old hole on the wall. Somehow. It isn't really perfect, but who cares.

Damage = 219 + 29 = 248

---

That's for last month, but don't forget about the Milestone XT which cost $520, and the new router + adapter combo which cost like $300...

Whew. Sometimes I wish I had deep coffers.

Anyway, that's enough damage for this year man. I must try to save up my money. I must return my bank account to its original state! Sometimes I don't even feel like going out, because going out = spend money. Hikikomori FTW.

Sorry seems to be the easiest word

I'm sick of hearing the word "sorry". It's so overused, it doesn't mean a thing anymore. Granted there are many cases in which the word "sorry" is appropriate, but there are many cases in which it's just a filler word. Something to say when you don't know what else to say. Something that will apparently ease your guilt. It's a frickin' selfish word, I tell ya.

Words are cheap, deeds are priceless. Saying sorry is okay if you follow up with some action to show your remorse. But no. Some just like to repeat their mistakes. Then what's the point of saying sorry?

Please, please. Say sorry only when you truly mean it. Don't say it for the sake of saying it, please. Save the word.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word? Sorry, times have changed.

Edit:
Okay after I posted this I saw this on lifehacker.com
http://jezebel.com/5704364/social-minefield-how-to-say-youre-sorry