Spot the red flags.

So, for record purposes, what were the red flags in person?

Date 1:
-I had already eaten dinner, but she hadn't. She whined about eating by herself, so I ended up buying some dessert.
-That fake smile, where only the lips curl up.
-Said she would listen to my stories but then ended up giving some glum face while listening. (She was tired so can excuse that, but still...)
-Asked her to go Macs as the hawker centre was closing, but she said no. Ended up walking to my home's void deck. I had to push my bicycle all the way. With one hand, because I was holding her hand with the other. It was tiring you know... She never once asked or cared. (But this can be excused a little...)

Date 2:
-Went with my dad/sis to fetch her to my grandma's place. She asked me if I would come out of the car when I reached... (Expecting princess treatment?)
-In front of everyone: asked me why I never held her hand. (Wtf my family was so friendly to her yet she needed assurance from me?)
-In front of everyone: asked me why I never held her. (Hello this is just the second date...)
-When fetching her home, asked me if I wanted to go to her house (when she actually meant just send her to her door). Well this is fine to ask, but it's still very puzzling...
-Asked if my grandma etc liked her. LIKE WTF who except someone very insecure asks that?! Well she did say she was an insecure person but it really shocked me that she was really so insecure.

Date 3:
-That fake smile again.
-Dinner. She never offered to pay. But she was buying a present for my sister, so I kind of excused her... It still bugged me.
-She wanted to order extra stuff, so I asked her to go buy. She asked "I'm scared you lonely" with a very non-sweet, non-genuine face. This was probably a projection of her own feelings onto me. What a dumb girl.
-When buying a gift for my sis. Kept asking me if my sis would like it, when I already decided.
-My pants were rolled up improperly because I cycled. She pointed it out but never really took any action for me. Okay la. I didn't expect much anyway.
-No reaction to me putting my arms around her.
-Bought cakes for her mum but didn't offer any for me. That's when I first thought that she probably was just using me and didn't like me at all. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
-After the date, she told me that it felt like I don't love her. LIKE WTF?! Definitely at this point I already had alarm bells ringing in my head saying this girl is crazy. But I still gave her the benefit of the doubt. Anyway I think this is the point where she realised she actually didn't love me but didn't know it yet. A projection of her own feelings.

Date 4:
-Invited her to my place. When we met, she totally had that unhappy and dark face upon seeing me. This is the first time where I really started to have doubts. (Not going to hold the hands of someone who looks at you like that, man...)
-Very protective of her handbag, like she definitely didn't feel safe here and also never coming back.
-Went to bathe so I brought her to my room. But she was not comfortable with it and wanted to go outside. Okay la, this was my mistake. But I think being uncomfortable with my home is a very huge red flag that I noticed but didn't think much of it at that time. I mean she is a tuition teacher and goes to homes all the time...
-Basically she was being so guarded throughout
-After this, she asked me to ask my family whether they liked her. Like seriously wtf is wrong with this girl?! She needs so much validation. Yucks.

Date 5:
-Gave her her birthday present and went to her house to pick her up. We were going to the canopy walk. When I met her, she totally had a dark face. Even though she said thank you for the present, it didn't feel like she mean it.
-Didn't want to take photos with me although she agreed we should have more photos together. This is the point where I knew she didn't want to be seen with me anymore
-Totally didn't enjoy the trip at all. At one point she was so happy that we were finally reaching the end. In a whiny manner. This is the point where I knew she was probably not the one for me.
-So dinner. We had prata. When I went to collect it, she didn't offer to help at all. It's like 4 plates of stuff and I had to go to and fro a few times. I know she was the birthday girl, but still... It didn't felt right. Could it be that she's actually like this all the time?!
-Did not offer to pay for dinner AT ALL. I mean it was cheap and all, but... At least offer to pay? This is the point where I really started to feel USED.
-That fake smile again. It was getting unnerving. This is on hindsight of course. At that time I thought she was just acting cute. (Hah, what a fool I am)

Date 6:
-Went to her favourite zi char.
-She bought some pastries for her mum before I reached. Never bought any for me. I think if you love someone, you would at least want to give them something once in a while. Or at least think of doing so. But no, and this happened too many times that I felt something was wrong.
-So the dinner. Again, never offered to pay. This is the time where I definitely felt USED.
-She wanted to buy avocado milkshake for her mum over accompanying me to IKEA. I mentioned that I like that too. That is not really a red flag by itself, but...
-Suddenly while queuing asked me to order and she would pay for it (including my share). This was really the last straw. I mean, this was the weirdest shit test ever. This definitely meant she was hesitant to buy me my share and needed me to "do some work". What a crazy bitch.

And one week after that... Told me some damn lame lies (no more meeting up) and ignored me the day after she told me she loved me. Said she needed some space. Please. At that point she already decided to break up with me. A complete abrupt turn. And she even blocked me and refused to give me a proper explanation and even when I asked her nicely, treated me like shit.

Man, so many red flags and I am so glad I dodged the bullet. I felt so USED but you know what, it could have been worse. I will always be grateful to her for showing me extreme female nature, if not I might end up being trapped in some stupid relationship. I'm so relieved that she broke up before my sister gave her an expensive snorlax and before I went for her friend's wedding which would probably cost $100. Omg. You know she doesn't deserve your love when you're so glad that you saved the $100 rather than have her back. $100 is definitely worth more than being used.

Seriously, what is wrong with this person? I don't understand. Regardless of her family circumstances, do you know how fortunate she was? To have a condo to stay, to have food to eat, to be able to go to university? Yet how could she lament so much about her life? How could she be so broken? It's so mind boggling.

BULLET DODGED

P.S. Actually the scariest thing I remember about her is not her emptiness, her fake smiles, but rather, her saying "will you spend all your money on me". It wasn't even 1 month and she said that. She even asked for my INCOME very early on. Fucking scary... I don't know who in their right mind will do that for a girl they don't even know well and who is not reliable as a person. And the worst part is that she did nothing special for me to deserve anything.

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